[pst! ⏳ sensitive] A little wild fox, the universal laws of free play

Remember 10 years ago when I used to write about my parenting experience and was willing to start facilitating free play groups for early childhood? Well, I’ve done it. 100%. And I’ve been loving it all the way long. It’s been fun, revealing, inspiring and messy. Above all, it’s been healing. And wild.

Slowly I started taking notes and writing down my thoughts on free play here and there in uncountable paper sheets and random notepads spread all over the place. Then 2020 came and the whole flow collected its power, shaping itself into a book: A Little Wild Fox, the Universal Laws of Free Play.

And I’m eager to share with you, my loyal English readers, a special gift to celebrate. I’m offering a massive discount on regular price, only until Sunday 13 at only $0.99

I WANT IT NOW ON KINDLE

Grab your gift right now and let me know responding to this email to access a few extra bonuses including a free play guided visualization to reconnect your own play intelligence into daily life.

What is this book about?

In a sequence of postcards as simple as poetic, A little wild fox explores, almost from the activation of personal memory, why early childhood is a crucial stage that deserves deep attention and care. María Raiti portrays in its pages some of the wonders that happen in a free play encounter, from the moment the space is swept and cleaned before opening the door to time when the families leave and the air remains filled with a deep and vital calm.

Using the metaphor of the different foxes of the world, its lines guide us to that early age in which the human baby, thanks to its playfulness, lays solid foundations for the future unfolding of its potential.

The author collects anecdotes from everyday experience through which she details the multiple biological principles of free play and reveals its universal laws. She shows us how to create ideal habitats in which free play can thrive, how to identify its main predators and how to sustain an ethical perspective to prevent its extinction.

It offers an accessible and enjoyable reading experience for families while providing cutting-edge information for educators, therapists and anyone interested in fostering full human development from the very beginning of life.

OR GRAB IT FROM MY FAV EBOOK PLATFORM

Oh freedom over me. The reason I´m so United Statesian

As Argentinian I am as geographically American as any other person born in this huge and precious continent. However, we all know the States somehow politically borrowed the demonym for itself. In Spanish we would call them “United Statesians”. So I wonder why I feel so American in the English sense of the term.

I mean, I feel so identified with the people, the culture, the values, the language, the research bodies, the speakers. I sing in English more than I do in my own language, I read in English more than I do in Spanish… Oh, come on! Don’t come to me with the anti cultural colonization speeches! America is a great country and has gifted the world with awesome, awesome people. American folk women singers touch my soul as no one else can. I listen to Brené Brown´s audiobooks while driving. I follow Marie Forleo in my multi passionate entrepreneurial adventures as if I were her own shadow. I study philosophy, take dance classes and business coaching with Americans. Ken Wilber has offered a framework for my entire career unfoldment and yes, I could listen to James Taylor to infinity and beyond.

I guess what drives my attention so much so is the sense of freedom Americans vibe in. Not in an international political sense —which is so much debatable—. I mean it just on a very personal level. To me Americans move like elephants in the jungle: they open paths for me to follow. As much proud as I am of my own national roots I would be a fool to deny it. I guess my admiration arises from the fact that I´m an intellectual and Americans ignite and nurture my hunger for thought freedom. 

I love the sense of freedom the States citizens offer to the world almost as much as I love India´s.

Speaking of which…

Last Tuesday was India’s independence day. And I came across this excerpt from a discourse given by Sri Madhusudan Sai a few years ago during a visit in the States. 

“America is like a giant elephant, very powerful, very capable. It is colossal and, by virtue of its sheer size and strength, it can do a lot –but, if the elephant goes mad, it can be very dangerous; the same elephant that can be productive can become damaging, if it goes mad. The elephant’s mind is the American mind; if the American mind does not change, America can be extremely destructive –but, it can change if people start changing. People will start changing if they have the right leadership, the right education, the right associations. That will all come in time –but, what is important is that it has to begin here, with you. A huge elephant can be controlled with a small stick –the stick of selflessness and devotion is the only refuge for the people of America and of the world.

In times to come, America will go through some ups and downs. If there is an old house and you want to build a new one, it is better to demolish it and rebuild it, then you can build it to be strong and it will last forever. Sometimes a little pain is good to allow greater growth; sometimes, a little demolition is good in order to build a new –one has to look at it in that way. Changes are going to happen and those who fit into the new age, the new change, will continue as they are. For others, there is no way other than by transforming themselves. America is not land, buildings and natural resources, but the people. The people of America must undergo transformation.

With passing seasons, some plants have to go and new plants appear. Similarly, America will undergo a major change at every level: social, political, economic and even spiritual. It is going to undergo many changes. It must be ready to embrace the changes and take them in a positive way for the betterment of the country, as well as of the world. As time progresses, you will see that spirituality will come back into society again; people will look towards God for solutions to all the problems in their lives. A major change will come. The last hundred years have brought a major shift in the way humanity thinks and that thought-process was led by America. However, the next hundred years will bring a very different way of looking at the world, and that thought-process will be led by India.

As I said, a huge elephant can be controlled by a stick in the hand of a small man. India, with its stick of devotion, will be able to teach the elephant America how to behave itself (Laughter) –and it is coming. This is not going to happen in the next week, next month or next year; it is something that will happen over the coming century”.

Sri Madhusudan Sai. June 20, 2016- California, USA.

This little man with the stick in the hand reminds me of Gandhi, who after liberating an entire country from the mightiest colonizers ever, when asked to summarize his endeavour he humbly said: 

“I’m a simple man in search of God”.

Mahatma Gandhi

pic by Thomas Kinto

This is how India’s stick is non-violent. The stick is not for cunning the elephant. 

The stick is to walk all the way to the Indic Ocean shore followed by hundreds of thousands and extract salt from the sea. 

The stick is to hand-spin your own cotton and weave your minimal livelihood requirements with it. Yes, it is also a stick to stop the western out of control elephantic myth of ever increasing economic growth at the self-suicidal rate of spending 1.5 of the entire world’s resources. A few loincloths would make it for Gandhiji´s entire wardrobe. That´s more than enough when your steps on this Earth are oriented towards the realization of the Self.

Here’s where both ends of freedom meet to me. America has taught the world how to think free. Now it is India’s turn to inspire the world to be free of thought. As a crew member of spaceship Earth I rightfully claim my heritage of both.  No, I won´t claim God is on our side. I humbly pray we´re on His.

pic by Laura Fuhrman

In defense of the comfort zone. A decade debunking my most frightening myth

The day I saw Janet Lansbury had featured my little blog hut in her magnanimous web site I stopped writing.

I stopped all together, for ten years.

Not because I admire her all way to heaven and back (which I so much do).

Not because her awesome audience would discover me, by millions.

And not because I could succeed. Quite the opposite.

Being successful, valued by a large community or recognized by one of my all-times-most-super-hero-woman feels just too fine. So I stopped writing to keep myself out of that: my comfortable zone. We´re trained to stay uncomfortable.

Out of the desire to stimulate us, we are forced to sit when we are ready to roll on our backs, forced to walk when we were ready to crawl. Forced to run when we were ready to happily stumble around.

Yes. Run baby. Run.

Run to win the competition for the last swing in the park. Run for breakfast and the school bus, run for academics. Run for friends, run for sex. Run for diplomas and MBA´s. Run for work and breastfeeding babies at the same time. Run for success, baby. Run. Don´t feel cozy. You´ll be dangerously late. Feeling comfortably slow will leave you behind.

We are early-educated to mistrust our feeling comfortable. We are trained into absenting ourselves from our own inner rhythm, our natural sense of presencing. We are tamed to believe uncomfortable is not just fine, it´s a must. Even our most devoted well-wishers serve this absenting mechanism in total obliviousness:

“Come on, forget your Self and the intoxicating sweetness of your fragrant chest. Forget the tender rate bit of your comforted heart. Get out your comfort zone”.

Do not mistake comfort by stagnant. The first offers true satisfaction and ignites humans to shine (litterally, billions of neurons are born bright when feeling in comfortable plenitude). But we have been stagnant-running after the mirage of success and competition, killing our own inner light (true: under stress neuronal connections starve and die). Stagnant is the cause for consumerism and it´s smoke promises: “Run to happiness”, it whispers, “run for the next partner, the next achievement, the next pay rise”. Stagnant takes us to repeat ourselves in such a high speed we don´t even realize we´re spinning like a top. In the same spot. Uncomfortable. Our entire lives.

Shouting from the top roof of this tiny mustard-baobab-seed-blog-hut I say:

“Innocent and devoted well-wishers, enough is enough. I won´t run. I won´t go out of my comfort zone and won´t misguide no kit or adult through that path. I´ve decided to become unstoppable in being brilliantly comfortable in all my might”.

Fallen on my knees, I´ll become a new seed. A mustard one. Or let it better be a baobab. Ready to finally feel comfortable and shine.

Little bird on your nest… in my bed I rest. A bed time poem for little ears.

Little bird in your nest, in my bed I rest. The moon shines so sweet, without making a cheep.

This is a draft of a new project I am dreaming of: creating little poems and illustrations to share with infants and young children before going to bed. Hope you enjoy it`s simple outline and sweetness .

Misbehavior files. In the search for the ultimate good.

Have you ever seen a toddler misbehave? I thought I had. A thousand times.

And I have a clear idea of why this has happened: I was blind.

Blind to really see beyond my own projection, perception and understanding.

Early childhood “misbehavior” is an adult conception, a rational explanation of those poorly rated attitudes, responses and experiments babies and infants conduct.

Generally and repeatedly considered by adults as inadequate, improper, bad or mean, infants meet their needs many times under stress (and shame).

Being the cost so high, why do they insist in doing so?

My hypothesis is: because they have an inner urge to fulfill.

It is generally easy to approve, respect and encourage babies endaveours  when they meet  adult standards and expectations: a 2 months old baby smiling to human faces, a 7 months old baby sitting straight on his own, a 12 months baby starting to walk by himself, an 18 months old baby saying her first words, a 24 months old toddler that is willing to be potty trained or a 30 months old toddler that smoothly exchanges his toys and biscuits with a play friend and kisses granny goodby with a big “thank you for the visit” hug…

Anyhow, what happens when a baby does not smile but cries, does not sit, walk, talk or get potty trained when adults expect them to do so? And what about a toddler that refuses to indulge adults requests (or threats) for social correctness?

Is he biting? Is she throwing tantrums? Are they not listening, not paying heed and (in general) not behaving as adults expect? Instead of seeing this as a challenging behavior we can drive our understanding towards a much better question: are they meeting a developmental need by doing what they do? Which one?

This question opens a wide range of responses that will completely modify the actions we adults take when facing such challenges…

Is a 30 months old girl pouring water all over? She may be needing to transfer liquids to understand fluids inter exchange in her own body, preparing herself for potty training. What about offering her enough play time in the bath tub (if weather is cold) or in the play ground?

Is a 24 months old boy saying “no” to every request his mother states? He may be needing to consolidate his “I” image as a separate individual by getting oppositional to every parental request. What about offering him a firm, calm limit (“you have to put your shoes on now”) AND an option so he can feel he is the one who is choosing (which color of shoes he is going to wear)?

Is an 18 months old baby repeatedly climbing the dinner table despite being said not to do so? She may be needing to reinforce the neurological wiring illumined when practising climbing coordination skills. What about taking her long enough to a playground where climbing games are available or setting a safe climbing game in her play area?

Children generally “misbehave” when they don´t find the opportunity to meet their needs in a safe, respectful, free play environment. They do it anyway, anywhere, with what they find at hand. And what do we adults say about that? “Uhm… here is the little naughty one”.

But what would happen if we shift the perspective and question ourselves: “Uhm… am I offering this child an adequate environment to meet his needs?”

Thinking this way, responsibility transfers from kid to adult. We are made responsible, which is good news, because it means we can find effective and intentional ways to offer children (and ourselves) a more fulfilling and harmonious experience.

After years of observation I have come to know everything a baby and toddler does is intended towards one direction, aiming at one very same goal. And this is so because there is only one ultimate good guiding every child behaviour as a compass: fulfilling the innate urge to unfold their humanness.

And I have good reasons to think that this is not only a cultural but also a biological impulse.

There are innumerable examples in my daily work that support this approach. I have picked some of these observations as study cases and compiled them under the “Misbehavior Files Series” in my best aim to narrate a Sherlock Holmes kind of detective educational adventure.

Would you join in solving the childhood discipline mystery puzzle?

Then know this post is just an introduction. Stay tuned, the good stuff is yet to come.

At least a list. InNaPoWriMo Day 30

Still hands

rest on the keyboard

tremble

shine

wait for instructions

emerge and write

at least

a list.

 

Stop the flow,

get up

heat water

grab mate

yerba

brown sugar

at least

a list.

 

Back on my butt

searching the guts

Grooveshark

Deva Premal

Gayatri Mantra

India… Ah! Here it comes!

al least

a list.

 

Remember my love,

remember when we met?

Whitefield morning.

Scented air.

Saraswathi Goddess.

Handcrafted Destiny.

at least

a list.

 

You thought I was so vain

(you are always right).

I thought you were out of your mind

(I wasn’t that right, I never am).

We crashed in the bad way

scattered glints

turned round

faded away.

 

Soft and tumultuously

sparks from your spirit

light my sari as a river

an irrepressible force

an impetuous course

unfolded nature

man and woman

reaching our central core.

 

Not enough poems, no praise, no song,

no, are not enough to express my love.

laughter above pain / you, funny cow

trust beyond anger / you, wise cow

compassion over pride / you, guru cow

respect built and re-found / you, seeker cow

At least a list, dear husband,

Minimal remembrances of pure delight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A simple question. No answer found.

I felt like crying many times lately for I can’t find an answer to a question that really disturbs me. So this is somewhat a catharsis. Hope you understand.

I offer playgroups for early childhood in Castelar, Argentina.

More and more parents ask me:

“Why nobody else works the way you do?”

Do you know what I do? I follow Magda Gerber´s teachings.

I wait, wait and wait.

I trust every child.

I don´t interrupt a playing child.

I let them cry out their feelings in a safe environment.

I broadcast their social efforts to interact with each other.

I nurture children´s trust setting limits. Lots of firm, calm limits. As many as I can and as soon as possible without feeling emotionally involved.

Then I say “I wont let you hit, you can trust me”. I trust the child and the child trusts me. Eventually they hit. Most of the time they wont.They are so happy.

Parents are there and listen.

So they ask me:

“Why nobody else works like you do? What you do is healing and rewarding and it is so different from what we see at educational facilities. It really helps us and helps our children”.

I am pretty sure I am not an educational savior.

I am no genius.

I am no hero but zero: the less I do, the better it goes.

I am sure there are many people working the way I do.

But I guess is not enough.

So little children come to my playgroup after being expelled from kindergarten at the age of 4  for the mere reason of not being conformists. For not complying with an educational system that does not respond to their real developmental needs.

Little children have been told they are inadequate for being different. So they have to go to the psychologist. The psychologist sends them to my playgroup.

And do you know what happens?

They get better. Much, much better. Because they are accepted as they are. Because they are not told their own and unique way of being is inadequate.

Of course I have studied. Of course I am a professional.

But I am not special, I have no magic.

So my heart burns and my voice cries out a question I can find no answer yet:

– Why? Why aren´t there more people working the way I do?

You don´t need much. Just a heart in your chest and a renewed vision in your mind.

About falling down and getting hurt as an adult, as an infant. A not so far experience.

I am ok now. My right leg must be kept high for one more week, nothing to worry about. But a lot to learn from.

It was Saturday morning and my husband had gone to work to the Capital City driving our car. (We are a one car family – which is great because we were a no car family for some time and it gets tough to move around with three kids).
Anyhow, I had no car and around 10 AM my PC collapsed. I thought it could be easily repaired so I went to our local commercial center by bus. Two kids and the big PC case came with me. When I was stepping down from the bus, the big case covered my visual field, the floor was not flat, my ankle twisted and I fell down crashing the other leg knee strongly against the floor. Many buses in Argentina do have really stiff climbing steps so I fell down from a considerable height. (The upper photo shows it clearly).

The only thing I knew was I was suffering a tremendous pain in both my legs.

In the meanwhile, the PC case flew in the air banging against the sidewalk.
The bus dirver did not move.
My kids stepped down after me.
The little one was crying.
The bus supervisor started arguing with a lady passenger.
Two really big guys held me from both sides trying to set me on my feet.

I wished I were alone, nobody around me, to suffer my pain in peace. But I had to react and respond, speak and set limits, protect and comfort.

– Don´t pull me up, was the first I could say. I cannot stand.

– You two, stop arguing. (Their emotional energy was pouring over my head and it really disturbed me).

– Little one, come here. Mama got hurt but I will be ok. Sit on my lap.

It demanded me so much energy, so much experience, so much love to say those three sentences under those circumstances!

Slowly pain decreased, my good friend Irene picked me up, brought me home, placed a bandage and arnica cream on the swelled foot.

Time and patience did the rest.

I am ok now, just the right ankle must rest high for some more days and my mother / teacher heart must remember.

Remember.

My own children and my little students.

The youngest are 18 months, 2 and 3 years old. The more they learned to move independently and the more they grew in a safe caring environment, the less they get hurt or fall down. But still they go through this experience quite more often than we adults do.

Here and then they have an accident. And once and again it hurts.

What happens when a toddler falls down?

Does anyone wait for a child to overcome pain, comforting and allowing him or her to stay where he or she fell down as long as needed?

Do parents argue instead of assisting and comforting the hurt child? (“Where where you? Why did you let him fall?”… I have seen many parents fighting out of fear, their emotions set in the first place overwhelming the already stressed child).

Do infants have to “care” for the adult´s feelings?

A week later my little students came back to play. I told them what happened in a serene way, using few words, sharing my life with them.

Amber (2) pulled up her trouser and showed me her knee wound. She understood me well.

Benjamin (18mo) said “PUM!” and held his forehead adding sorround sound to my story.

Big Bus, commented Mily offering a sense of size.

Martin (20mo) went to his mom and retold her the story. He broadcasted the experience to the general public.

Sophie said: “wate, wate”.
– Are still you thirsty?
– Yes, she answered.

Mily had left the table to pick a soft ball next to Martin who already played with a transparent jar.

Life went on.

I poured a little water in Sophie´s glass and gratitude expanded within myself.

Feeling understood is such a wonderful experience…

And they understood me so well… They really did.

Mess or Marvel? Depends on your perspective.

This is my early childhood educational center after the last playgroup meeting yesterday.

Done by kids age 3 to 6.

In Cooperation. Concentration. Contemplation.

Absolute beauty.

Believe me. I really appreciate it. With all my heart.

However, I had the intention to untangle the whole thing to be able to reach the entrance in a straight line, without having to sort “snakes”, “laser rays”, “time machines” and “time tunnels”.

My kids begged me not to.

– Boys, I can barely walk here, I said.

– We know!, middle one agreed in a gleeful mood, his eyes sparkling true enthusiasm. – That´s the best of it!

“Madge and her Magic”. What Magda Gerber has done for me (and other grown-ups).

You can stay at the shore, denying pearls exist.
Or you can dive into the sea, and find out the truth.

I admit I am a passionate woman and this is a passionate post. A post about a woman who turned to be an amazing friend although I didn´t get the chance to meet her in person. A post about the journey I started guided by her words. And about my gratitude for what I found following her path.

I met her around 4 years ago. Our encounter started softly, as a shy relationship. Somehow I came across her name… I don´t know how it happened nor when I read about her  for the first time. Never mind. The fact is it happened.

Magda Gerber, a Hungarian infant specialist came into my life. And changed me. As a mother, as a wife, as an educationist, as a parent advisor, as a human being.

In my working space I offer playgroups for babies and infants based on the free education movement. I particularly base my work on the research conducted by Dr. Emmi Pikler and the parenting philosophy provided by Magda Gerber at RIE.

Even when the playgroups are oriented to babies and infants, I notice a clear need in parents for guidance and help.

“How do you do it?”, they ask me. “You are respectful and loving. You don´t shout, you don´t scold, you don´t neither punish nor lose your temper at ANY time and toddlers play in such a self-regulated and harmonious way!”

They believe I am a magician (lol!). Just imagine… some hocus pocus here, some fairy dust there and, voilá! A peaceful active and engaged toddler playgroup emerges. But I know nothing about magic (ups!). Sorry to confess that. My only secret is this: I took to heart the treasure that Magda Gerber has left in her Educaring approach.

When I first read Magda Gerber, something deep within told me it was a great discovery. I didn´t have the need for further research to support what I found. None could have been better than my own, clear, intense and heartfelt understanding: her vision is TRUE. Or even better: her vision offered me a link to my inner TRUTH.

It is not about a theory. It´s about life expanding under a new light.

In my work field I have observed how much guilt parents feel when they cannot strictly follow this or that theory they´ve been recommended as the best one for rearing their babies, which is a real pity because guilt deprives parenting from the joy of being intuitional and respectful to oneself (and therefore to the rest of the world, starting with our babies).

In some cases, intelligent, loving parents even put their babies into real danger (physical danger I mean, such as driving with a baby on the lap or carrying a baby while dealing with boiling water on a stove) because they cannot stand hearing them cry. They know  they are doing wrong, still they  feel lost. When they ask me for help, we have noticed that having read about attachment parenting and brain damage caused by intense crying was a main influence on their risky decision.

Of course, sleep and limits are also always present in my playgroups parent´s agenda. In an endless insomniac chain of desperate days they have read all what they found on the topic and have tried a bunch of methods. Even when they really want it (and need it), still they can´t put their toddlers to sleep in their own beds and they feel  lost in the quicksand of confusion when facing their children´s need for limits.

Since they trust me, they tend to ask for help (they still think I have some magic powder somewhere – I have none, I insist). When I listen to their questions, I tune in. I check my own experiences. I accept them, share them and let them go. Then I connect: what would Magda have answered? God! I don´t know! So I wait… And trust…

I let her words come to me. What did she say related to the particular issue? That´s the lifesaving device that always helps. Parents start nodding in acknowledgment. They get touched. Usually this is enough for them to find their own way through. They start verbalizing themselves their own answers! And I feel a tremendous gratitude.

Differently from other theories, Gerber offers a philosophy, a way of questioning, understanding and interpreting infant education. If you just analyze it from “outside”, without testing it, you may criticize many topics, especially if they are taken out of context (such as misinterpreting “not immediately picking up a crying baby” as “abandonment”, or “not carrying babies” as “underestimating skin to skin contact”).

Accessing to a knowledge that points beyond the regular social standards  tends to be generally criticized, because it won´t fit into social accepted ideas of what is Truth. If you stay in that realm, you´d probably find lots of reasonable arguments to judge her approach and even think her philosophy is “outdated”, old-fashioned… as some people do say.

I´m convinced this is simple vain talk, just as staying in the shore, denying the existence of pearls. She was way advanced in the front line of humane vanguard.

But if you dive into Gerber´s vision, if you test it and get really soaked with its principles, that´s quite a different experience. Being it so wonderful, why is not everyone joining in, then?

I guess the hard part of Magda Gerber´s approach is that we, adults, need to reteach ourselves. At least this is what her magic guided me to 

• relearn how to WAIT for life´s perfect timing, instead of pressuring into it,
• relearn how to RESPECT in a deep humane way beyond stereotypes and age gaps,
• relearn how to ACKNOWLEDGE and ACCEPT .

Imagine a world ruled under these statements. If we are in any way expanding into an evolutionary process, I would sow for a future guided by these principles. I cannot think of a better way to define LOVE.

She saw that future. She found the pathway to a better world by respecting life from the very beginning.

She did it for babies.

She did it for us.

So the other day, when my heart jumped in joy (one more time) while observing and working with peaceful, happy babies, toddlers and parents I could only say: Hey! There was some magic here after all, but it is not mine… it belongs to her.

Thank you Magda! May this be my humble tribute to you.

I´m a Muslim too. Beyond tolerance.

Not religion, but spirituality has always been a priority in my life, be it applied as a woman, a wife, a mother, a professional, a friend, a citizen.

The search began when I was born and I hope it will continue until my death.

I was baptized as a Catholic as a baby and went to church all my childhood for my own interest (my parents didn´t attend), I follow Sathya Sai Baba´s teachings since I´m 13 years old, I took initiation in Tao and I participated in Catholic praying groups in my early twenties (until they found out my interest in Hinduism and excluded me from the group!). I lived in Thailand in my late twenties and prayed and prostrated to Buddha before dawn along with my little students every day for a full year.

Six months ago I attended with my sister in law to a lecture of a German Sufi Teacher and to my request, he conversed me a Muslim and gave me a new sand beautiful name.

This simple but profound experience raised my conscience amazingly and granted me bliss for more than a week in a constant state. As far as I am concerned attending Islam lectures, singing to Allah in circular dances and repeating His Holy Name has been an incredible experience, that has strengthened my love and inner peace as well as that of the people  around me.

This week I´ve been surfing the web in search of a book my sister in law recommended to me. What I found left me in deep thinking.

She has become a Muslim some three years ago and we are all really happy for her because her life changed drastically, for the better. This is particularly expressed in her inner happiness, gentleness and loving attitude.

I´m always interested in learning new things related to spirituality so she recommended that book to me: Mohammed. Since it´s not available in Argentina I searched for it at Amazon.com hoping to find the e-book version.

I got very disappointed to discover a wide offer of books attacking Islam, even doubting the existence of the Prophet, written by “experts”. The first title in the search results assures this “is the most intolerant religion in the world”.

I´m a common, not literate person regarding religious issues. But let me tell you my little knowledge shows me religious intolerance is a double mistake: to be intolerant is bad, to tolerate may be worse.

After OxfordDictionaries.com definition “to tolerate” is to “allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one dislikes or disagrees with) without interference”. Ergo, intolerance is the unwillingness to allow anything one dislikes or disagrees with. Yes, that´s bad.

But who are we to judge people´s beliefs and be in a position of allowing (or denying) their existence in the first place? This may be even worse. It is just the opposite side of the same coin.

The more I dive into world´s spiritual teachings and get in touch with true seekers from all religions, the wider my range of understanding of Unity becomes.

I don´t want to tolerate, endure or bear with anyone who´s different from me. Who am I to judge if they “deserve” my acceptance?

I want to be alike to everyone. I´m a Christian, I´m a Hindu, I´m a Taoist, I´m Buddhist, I´m a Muslim too. Beyond tolerance.

Main inspiring sources for this post (including images). Meditations of a Muslimah
http://meditationsofamuslimah.wordpress.com/2013/01/26/my-first-month-of-wearing-hijab/

Dr. Mary Ann´s Academy
http://drmaryann.wordpress.com/2011/09/25/god-is-not-one-islam-the-way-of-submission/

Further articles and video suggestions.
Daniel Barenboim Stiftung
http://www.daniel-barenboim-stiftung.org/projects-in-israel-and-palestine/

Israel Loves Palestine: the Movement
http://www.sabotagetimes.com/life/israel-loves-palestine-the-movement/

What would you do?

Gratitude is in the air. Not just a travel anecdote.

My dear friend Nina is a stewardess. She had to work on dec. 31st in a return flight from Miami to Argentina. On these Holidays crew members are allowed to take a friend with them, so she invited me to join her all the way from Buenos Aires – Miami – Buenos Aires in just 48 hours! We were going to celebrate new year flying somewhere above the Ecuatorian sky…

No need to say I accepted!

After visting Miami Beach we rushed to Dolphin´s to buy all sales we were able to pay for and capable to carry with (women´s ability to meet both goals is well known so we did a good deal of shopping). Then we went to the Cheesecake factory because I was hungry and insisted. The other girls said they were ok with a Starbucks coffe… pardon? Coffe for dinner? Not for me!! The funny thing was they ate as much or more than myself… they were hungry too!

Next day we walked in the sorroundings of University train Station, did a bit more shopping and ate sushi from Whole Foods at our hotel, sitting comfortably by the  swimmingpool.

Time was over and we litteraly sat on our before empty suitcases to be able to close them.

Then I had the idea to play a new year´s friendship game during the flight. Rushed to Holiday Inn´s PC room, searched for a nice 2013 image and started printing 45 copies. Printer run out of paper so I dared to go to front desk to get my problem solved. We assembeled all crew members, captains and other airline staff that was travelling with us that night and briefly explained how it went: you should think of a life purposeful desire for the coming year and write it down as a desire for someone else (“I wish you”… kind of text) and you should sign giving a medium difficulty clue about your self to play an “invisible friend” game during the flight.

All agreed enthusiastically (is not easy to counteract a 20 years experienced toddlers and young infants teacher, you see?) except for  one man who didn´t join us… a self induced fringe person.

We departed on time and after serving some drinks, my dear friend put all papers in a bag and walked through aisles for us to pick one, as if she were serving an appetizer. Then fun began. People got up, they started asking each other:

– Do you live in the West Area of Buenos Aires?

– Were you born in Corrientes province?

– Did life offer you a second chance?

– Do you have only one bunion? (this was the best one and believe it or not, her friends knew who she was!!)

There was laughter and joy when every one discovered his well wisher and they gave each other a big hug. In the mean while captain appeared in the loudspeakers. We were in the countdown for new year and we jumped in repeating along whith him… 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,

Happy new year!!!

An old american couple woke up and they were looking at their watches asking each other: “Why do they celebrate new year???” (Argentinean time is two hours forward and for sure the crew wanted to turn off the lights early and get a short nap before serving breakfast). Poor old people, they paid premium business class and were surrounded by around 30 cheerful Argentinians that were travelling for free!!

I got home, gave my dear husband and dear kids the little presents I brought and our new year started sharing a peaceful day at home. Towards the evening, Ricardo and I went watering the front garden. In no more than 25 minutes a few people approached asking for food and old clothes. The last one was a pregnant lady with two girls. I gave her some bananas and a bottle of water because we are in summer and it was a hot day.

– Don´t you have left overs? We haven´t eaten anything today.

I went back to my kitchen, warmed a rice, lentils and vegetables stew and gave it to her. They sat on the walk side immediately and started eating. My husband stared at me and I stared at him. We both agreed.

– Come in, sit at our table and have your dinner.

– Sure, she said and her smile revealed an irregular and incomplete set of teeth.

Rosa and her girls, Rocío and Camila, chatted, laughed and asked for bread, cheese, baby blankets, mosquito repellent, antibiotics, diapers, money for the bus and train card, a stay over job to clean homes… Oh my! Some things I could give, some of course not.

– I was born in 1983, Rosa mentioned. But I like to say I´m a bit younger, only rags are old (that´s a common expression in Spanish: “viejos son los trapos”)… She was just 29 years old, had 6 kids and one coming! To me, she looked like a 45 years old woman.

After slowly picking all their bags, carriers, boxes and loose items they kissed me and left. Balancing their steps they turned round the corner and disappeared. The image gap to my recent travel was so huge and so small at the same time…

Various emotions rushed in and quickly vanished again in my conscience… gratitude for what I have, sadness for what they don´t, and a sudden determination… like a prayer…

In this journey of life may I become an “invisible friend” of those in need and despair,

learning to reveal their hidden clues.

In gratitude.

I´ll be coming back to amararama as often as possitble this year to say thank you. Hope you share this new adventure with me.